{"id":507,"date":"2009-01-02T13:03:14","date_gmt":"2009-01-02T19:03:14","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/famille.org\/?p=507"},"modified":"2009-01-02T13:05:23","modified_gmt":"2009-01-02T19:05:23","slug":"when-i-went-back-it-was-twenty-years-later","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/famille.org\/?p=507","title":{"rendered":"When I went back, it was twenty years later"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Editors comment: This post is by my brother, Kelly.<\/p>\n<p>It is December 31st, 1988, and still I have no ticket for tonight&#8217;s New<br \/>\nYear&#8217;s Eve Grateful Dead show, the final night of an abbreviated<br \/>\nthree-night run.<\/p>\n<p>Having figured that two shows are better than none, I hopped in the<br \/>\ncommunal Ford van and (after a detour to a hot tub in Eugene, Oregon) came<br \/>\ndown from Seattle for the festivities of the 28th and 29th. \u00c2\u00a0One of the<br \/>\nguys who came down with us (RIP, Daniel) had an extra New Year&#8217;s Eve<br \/>\nticket, but he seemed intent on bartering it in exchange for as much money<br \/>\nas possible. \u00c2\u00a0I had since relegated myself to the possibility of a New<br \/>\nYear&#8217;s Eve spent dancing outside while cleaning up bottles and cans in a<br \/>\nvast asphalt jungle.<\/p>\n<p><!--more--><\/p>\n<p>Another of my friends, though, found me in the parking lot of the Oakland<br \/>\nColiseum on the afternoon of the 31st and told me that not only had she<br \/>\ngotten on the Bill Graham Presents list to work inside the show, and that<br \/>\nshe would be getting hourly pay for her services, but she was told they<br \/>\nstill needed more volunteer staff. \u00c2\u00a0I went next door to the baseball<br \/>\nstadium to call the BGP offices; the pay phone happened to be located<br \/>\nright next to an intense and very loud drum circle, so I was barely able<br \/>\nto hear that no one who could help me was left in the office &#8212; which I<br \/>\nshould&#8217;ve known, since after all it was just a few hours before showtime<br \/>\non the last day of the year.<\/p>\n<p>My friend and I decided I might as well go with her to where the staff<br \/>\nchecks in, just to see if someone there could, uh &#8230; help. \u00c2\u00a0My friend was<br \/>\nable to walk right in when her name was found on &#8220;the list,&#8221; while I<br \/>\nwaited outside to see what sort of talking she could do. \u00c2\u00a0More heads<br \/>\nwalked up, gave their name, walked in, while I stood there waiting for<br \/>\nsomething, I wasn&#8217;t sure exactly what. \u00c2\u00a0The wind seemed especially cold &#8212;<br \/>\nI felt that I was having my blood put on ice as punishment for even trying<br \/>\nsuch a dumb stunt.<\/p>\n<p>The woman with the list asked my name again, checked her walkie-talkie &#8212;<br \/>\nnothing came through. \u00c2\u00a0Which struck her as odd, since -something- should<br \/>\nhave come through on her radio. \u00c2\u00a0She found a co-worker with a radio that<br \/>\nworked, spoke my name into it, listened&#8230;walked over to me&#8230;and said I<br \/>\nshould go in through that door there, find this particular person, make<br \/>\nsure of what task I&#8217;d be doing so there would be no misunderstandings.<\/p>\n<p>And I walked into the Oakland-Alameda County Coliseum Arena for New Year&#8217;s<br \/>\nEve with the Grateful Dead.<\/p>\n<p>I found the BGP staffer who had allowed me in. \u00c2\u00a0At this point years later,<br \/>\nI must admit I&#8217;m immune to the name-dropping bug since I truly and<br \/>\nunfortunately cannot remember her name. \u00c2\u00a0Her hair was decorated with a<br \/>\ncrown of Babys Breath, and she seemed to be directing a dozen people in<br \/>\nperson and another dozen over the radio while simply standing there. \u00c2\u00a0She<br \/>\nrepeated my name to me, I verified it, she looked directly at me and said:<br \/>\n&#8220;Listen: your name wasn&#8217;t on the list. \u00c2\u00a0But we could use some help<br \/>\ntonight, so we&#8217;re going to take the chance.&#8221; \u00c2\u00a0The responsibility delegated<br \/>\nfrom her eyes to mine was inescapable. \u00c2\u00a0I was handed a staff shirt and<br \/>\nseemed to mostly stand still watching the BGP regulars do their thing,<br \/>\nwhen we were summoned en masse for a pre-show pep talk from Bill Graham.<\/p>\n<p>He was wearing street clothes, just like the band and the thousands of<br \/>\nattendees usually do. \u00c2\u00a0No giveaway of any midnight stunt Father Time had<br \/>\nplanned for tonight. \u00c2\u00a0His fondness for this particular evening of all,<br \/>\nhowever, was obvious. \u00c2\u00a0New Year&#8217;s Eve meant that there would be a lot of<br \/>\npeople pushing themselves even further than they usually do, he said, and<br \/>\nthat meant they would occasionally need a little extra help from us.<br \/>\nJust a nudge to get them going in the right direction is all that&#8217;s<br \/>\nneeded, he told us. \u00c2\u00a0Just a little nudge is all.<\/p>\n<p>He knew, and we knew, and they knew even in their altered state, that the<br \/>\nway to keep things running smoothly on a night like tonight was to just<br \/>\ngently point the way, no need to make a scene, keep it cool and it&#8217;ll be<br \/>\ncool. \u00c2\u00a0He mentioned that tonight of all nights was indeed something<br \/>\nspecial, requiring a special sort of attention from all of us, and his<br \/>\nfondness became our fondness. \u00c2\u00a0It was quite different from any other<br \/>\nexperience I&#8217;d had with him, and was exactly what I had long suspected was<br \/>\nunder the rough all-business exterior.<\/p>\n<p>I was then plopped down at the rear of the floor to be a perimeter guard<br \/>\nfor the volleyball game on the main floor behind the soundboard. \u00c2\u00a0This is<br \/>\nsurely what his speech must have been about, for after all this time there<br \/>\nstill were people coming to New Year&#8217;s Eve shows spaced out of their gourd<br \/>\nand not realizing they were actually walking into the middle of a<br \/>\nvolleyball tournament and about to get plonked on the head. \u00c2\u00a0My job was to<br \/>\nprevent them from getting plonked on the head, which I usually did by<br \/>\nrudely interrupting conversations from out of nowhere and reminding people<br \/>\nto look up. \u00c2\u00a0No need to push, just let them know to be aware and they&#8217;ll<br \/>\n(usually) take care of the rest for themselves \ud83d\ude42<\/p>\n<p>Closer to show time, I was moved to a spot dead center on the floor just<br \/>\nto the left of the soundboard, and handed a straight pin for the purpose<br \/>\nof popping stray balloons that might land on the work area at the board.<br \/>\nBetween sets, a head in the crowd who was interviewing attendees spotted<br \/>\nmy staff shirt and asked me what Bill Graham had planned for the stroke of<br \/>\nmidnight. \u00c2\u00a0I could do nothing but smile and truthfully tell him I had<br \/>\nabsolutely no idea whatsoever.<\/p>\n<p>As the lights went down for the second set, a BGP staffer came rushing<br \/>\nthrough the crowd holding bottles of champagne and plastic cups. \u00c2\u00a0He<br \/>\nstopped in front of me, juggled a cup my way, aimed some champagne at it,<br \/>\nand continued on his way to hand a toast to the next volunteer worker he<br \/>\ncould find. \u00c2\u00a0Nice touch by the BGPers to just nudge things along. \u00c2\u00a0\ud83d\ude42<\/p>\n<p>As midnight arrived, I toasted Father Time, bearded and dressed in starry<br \/>\nblue, as he floated directly above me, standing atop a giant mirrored<br \/>\nball, throwing roses down to the crowd. \u00c2\u00a0Never had such a good time&#8230;<\/p>\n<p>After the show, I couldn&#8217;t resist wandering through the building (I love<br \/>\nme some staff shirt!) to see what could be seen. \u00c2\u00a0I found a small lounge<br \/>\nwith an afterparty in full swing, the &#8220;house band&#8221; not even starting their<br \/>\nset until 3 AM. \u00c2\u00a0I settled in at a table, and noticed that a couple of<br \/>\ntables away was seated Jerome John Garcia, with several lovely women<br \/>\nseated around him and a line of well-wishers streaming toward his table.<br \/>\nNot wanting to babble my way into stupidity, I refrained from hounding him<br \/>\nat his seat. \u00c2\u00a0As he got up to leave the room, however, I decided it<br \/>\nwouldn&#8217;t be so bad if I just happened to be at the exit at the same time<br \/>\nhe was.<\/p>\n<p>I headed for the door and encountered a group of heads who figured they at<br \/>\nleast didn&#8217;t have anything to lose. \u00c2\u00a0One of them pulled out a camera as<br \/>\nthe others surrounded Jerry and posed for the imminent photo. \u00c2\u00a0I stood off<br \/>\nto the side watching, and saw a goofy &#8220;aw, shucks&#8221; grin cover Jerry&#8217;s<br \/>\nface. He seemed to look my way, as if to ask &#8220;Why me?&#8221; \u00c2\u00a0I looked back as<br \/>\nif to say, &#8220;Because you&#8217;re Jerry, that&#8217;s why.&#8221; \u00c2\u00a0The bunch of them smiled.<br \/>\nThe camera flashed. \u00c2\u00a0The heads wandered off to wherever they were going,<br \/>\nand the man in black continued on to wherever he was going, which at that<br \/>\nmoment happened to be straight towards me.<\/p>\n<p>Surely I had rehearsed a moment like this in my mind a thousand times<br \/>\nbefore.<\/p>\n<p>But I could only keep smiling even more and, at 4:30 AM on New Years Day<br \/>\n1989, the only thing I could think of to say to Jerry Garcia, the only<br \/>\nother person around for a hundred feet, was:<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Happy New Year!&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Same to you!&#8221; he shot back, still holding that smile, and he walked on<br \/>\npast me to whatever car or party or loved one awaited him next.<\/p>\n<p>Suddenly unable to think of any pressing reason to stay inside the<br \/>\nbuilding, I went back out to the parking lot, to a portal of the stadium,<br \/>\nwhere a small barrel fire was keeping happy heads warm and huddled in the<br \/>\nearliest pre-dawn hours of the new year.<\/p>\n<p>It&#8217;s one of those classic cases where I&#8217;ve come up with a better response<br \/>\nnow that I&#8217;ve had a few years to think about it. \u00c2\u00a0If I had the chance, I<br \/>\nmight say, &#8220;Hey, Jer, listen: I really want to thank you not only for what<br \/>\nyou do, but for your determination to enjoy doing it. \u00c2\u00a0I&#8217;ve loved taking<br \/>\npart in it too, and it&#8217;s good to see that you enjoy making it happen as<br \/>\nmuch as we do. \u00c2\u00a0The fact that you found something you like doing, and made<br \/>\nit into a way of living, helps inspire me and a bunch of other people to<br \/>\nrealize that we can find something of our own that we like doing, and to<br \/>\nmake a life for ourselves out of it as well.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>I&#8217;ll never again have a chance to see him that close in person. \u00c2\u00a0So I<br \/>\ndon&#8217;t know how he&#8217;d respond, although even if it were 4:30 in the morning<br \/>\nI&#8217;m pretty sure he&#8217;d have more to say than &#8220;same to you!&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>Happy New Year, Jer. \u00c2\u00a0Miss ya.<\/p>\n<p>And Happy New Year to you, Uncle Bobo, wherever you are.<\/p>\n<p>Happy New Year, everybody.It is December 31st, 1988, and still I have no ticket for tonight&#8217;s New<br \/>\nYear&#8217;s Eve Grateful Dead show, the final night of an abbreviated<br \/>\nthree-night run.<\/p>\n<p>Having figured that two shows are better than none, I hopped in the<br \/>\ncommunal Ford van and (after a detour to a hot tub in Eugene, Oregon) came<br \/>\ndown from Seattle for the festivities of the 28th and 29th. \u00c2\u00a0One of the<br \/>\nguys who came down with us (RIP, Daniel) had an extra New Year&#8217;s Eve<br \/>\nticket, but he seemed intent on bartering it in exchange for as much money<br \/>\nas possible. \u00c2\u00a0I had since relegated myself to the possibility of a New<br \/>\nYear&#8217;s Eve spent dancing outside while cleaning up bottles and cans in a<br \/>\nvast asphalt jungle.<\/p>\n<p>Another of my friends, though, found me in the parking lot of the Oakland<br \/>\nColiseum on the afternoon of the 31st and told me that not only had she<br \/>\ngotten on the Bill Graham Presents list to work inside the show, and that<br \/>\nshe would be getting hourly pay for her services, but she was told they<br \/>\nstill needed more volunteer staff. \u00c2\u00a0I went next door to the baseball<br \/>\nstadium to call the BGP offices; the pay phone happened to be located<br \/>\nright next to an intense and very loud drum circle, so I was barely able<br \/>\nto hear that no one who could help me was left in the office &#8212; which I<br \/>\nshould&#8217;ve known, since after all it was just a few hours before showtime<br \/>\non the last day of the year.<\/p>\n<p>My friend and I decided I might as well go with her to where the staff<br \/>\nchecks in, just to see if someone there could, uh &#8230; help. \u00c2\u00a0My friend was<br \/>\nable to walk right in when her name was found on &#8220;the list,&#8221; while I<br \/>\nwaited outside to see what sort of talking she could do. \u00c2\u00a0More heads<br \/>\nwalked up, gave their name, walked in, while I stood there waiting for<br \/>\nsomething, I wasn&#8217;t sure exactly what. \u00c2\u00a0The wind seemed especially cold &#8212;<br \/>\nI felt that I was having my blood put on ice as punishment for even trying<br \/>\nsuch a dumb stunt.<\/p>\n<p>The woman with the list asked my name again, checked her walkie-talkie &#8212;<br \/>\nnothing came through. \u00c2\u00a0Which struck her as odd, since -something- should<br \/>\nhave come through on her radio. \u00c2\u00a0She found a co-worker with a radio that<br \/>\nworked, spoke my name into it, listened&#8230;walked over to me&#8230;and said I<br \/>\nshould go in through that door there, find this particular person, make<br \/>\nsure of what task I&#8217;d be doing so there would be no misunderstandings.<\/p>\n<p>And I walked into the Oakland-Alameda County Coliseum Arena for New Year&#8217;s<br \/>\nEve with the Grateful Dead.<\/p>\n<p>I found the BGP staffer who had allowed me in. \u00c2\u00a0At this point years later,<br \/>\nI must admit I&#8217;m immune to the name-dropping bug since I truly and<br \/>\nunfortunately cannot remember her name. \u00c2\u00a0Her hair was decorated with a<br \/>\ncrown of Babys Breath, and she seemed to be directing a dozen people in<br \/>\nperson and another dozen over the radio while simply standing there. \u00c2\u00a0She<br \/>\nrepeated my name to me, I verified it, she looked directly at me and said:<br \/>\n&#8220;Listen: your name wasn&#8217;t on the list. \u00c2\u00a0But we could use some help<br \/>\ntonight, so we&#8217;re going to take the chance.&#8221; \u00c2\u00a0The responsibility delegated<br \/>\nfrom her eyes to mine was inescapable. \u00c2\u00a0I was handed a staff shirt and<br \/>\nseemed to mostly stand still watching the BGP regulars do their thing,<br \/>\nwhen we were summoned en masse for a pre-show pep talk from Bill Graham.<\/p>\n<p>He was wearing street clothes, just like the band and the thousands of<br \/>\nattendees usually do. \u00c2\u00a0No giveaway of any midnight stunt Father Time had<br \/>\nplanned for tonight. \u00c2\u00a0His fondness for this particular evening of all,<br \/>\nhowever, was obvious. \u00c2\u00a0New Year&#8217;s Eve meant that there would be a lot of<br \/>\npeople pushing themselves even further than they usually do, he said, and<br \/>\nthat meant they would occasionally need a little extra help from us.<br \/>\nJust a nudge to get them going in the right direction is all that&#8217;s<br \/>\nneeded, he told us. \u00c2\u00a0Just a little nudge is all.<\/p>\n<p>He knew, and we knew, and they knew even in their altered state, that the<br \/>\nway to keep things running smoothly on a night like tonight was to just<br \/>\ngently point the way, no need to make a scene, keep it cool and it&#8217;ll be<br \/>\ncool. \u00c2\u00a0He mentioned that tonight of all nights was indeed something<br \/>\nspecial, requiring a special sort of attention from all of us, and his<br \/>\nfondness became our fondness. \u00c2\u00a0It was quite different from any other<br \/>\nexperience I&#8217;d had with him, and was exactly what I had long suspected was<br \/>\nunder the rough all-business exterior.<\/p>\n<p>I was then plopped down at the rear of the floor to be a perimeter guard<br \/>\nfor the volleyball game on the main floor behind the soundboard. \u00c2\u00a0This is<br \/>\nsurely what his speech must have been about, for after all this time there<br \/>\nstill were people coming to New Year&#8217;s Eve shows spaced out of their gourd<br \/>\nand not realizing they were actually walking into the middle of a<br \/>\nvolleyball tournament and about to get plonked on the head. \u00c2\u00a0My job was to<br \/>\nprevent them from getting plonked on the head, which I usually did by<br \/>\nrudely interrupting conversations from out of nowhere and reminding people<br \/>\nto look up. \u00c2\u00a0No need to push, just let them know to be aware and they&#8217;ll<br \/>\n(usually) take care of the rest for themselves \ud83d\ude42<\/p>\n<p>Closer to show time, I was moved to a spot dead center on the floor just<br \/>\nto the left of the soundboard, and handed a straight pin for the purpose<br \/>\nof popping stray balloons that might land on the work area at the board.<br \/>\nBetween sets, a head in the crowd who was interviewing attendees spotted<br \/>\nmy staff shirt and asked me what Bill Graham had planned for the stroke of<br \/>\nmidnight. \u00c2\u00a0I could do nothing but smile and truthfully tell him I had<br \/>\nabsolutely no idea whatsoever.<\/p>\n<p>As the lights went down for the second set, a BGP staffer came rushing<br \/>\nthrough the crowd holding bottles of champagne and plastic cups. \u00c2\u00a0He<br \/>\nstopped in front of me, juggled a cup my way, aimed some champagne at it,<br \/>\nand continued on his way to hand a toast to the next volunteer worker he<br \/>\ncould find. \u00c2\u00a0Nice touch by the BGPers to just nudge things along. \u00c2\u00a0\ud83d\ude42<\/p>\n<p>As midnight arrived, I toasted Father Time, bearded and dressed in starry<br \/>\nblue, as he floated directly above me, standing atop a giant mirrored<br \/>\nball, throwing roses down to the crowd. \u00c2\u00a0Never had such a good time&#8230;<\/p>\n<p>After the show, I couldn&#8217;t resist wandering through the building (I love<br \/>\nme some staff shirt!) to see what could be seen. \u00c2\u00a0I found a small lounge<br \/>\nwith an afterparty in full swing, the &#8220;house band&#8221; not even starting their<br \/>\nset until 3 AM. \u00c2\u00a0I settled in at a table, and noticed that a couple of<br \/>\ntables away was seated Jerome John Garcia, with several lovely women<br \/>\nseated around him and a line of well-wishers streaming toward his table.<br \/>\nNot wanting to babble my way into stupidity, I refrained from hounding him<br \/>\nat his seat. \u00c2\u00a0As he got up to leave the room, however, I decided it<br \/>\nwouldn&#8217;t be so bad if I just happened to be at the exit at the same time<br \/>\nhe was.<\/p>\n<p>I headed for the door and encountered a group of heads who figured they at<br \/>\nleast didn&#8217;t have anything to lose. \u00c2\u00a0One of them pulled out a camera as<br \/>\nthe others surrounded Jerry and posed for the imminent photo. \u00c2\u00a0I stood off<br \/>\nto the side watching, and saw a goofy &#8220;aw, shucks&#8221; grin cover Jerry&#8217;s<br \/>\nface. He seemed to look my way, as if to ask &#8220;Why me?&#8221; \u00c2\u00a0I looked back as<br \/>\nif to say, &#8220;Because you&#8217;re Jerry, that&#8217;s why.&#8221; \u00c2\u00a0The bunch of them smiled.<br \/>\nThe camera flashed. \u00c2\u00a0The heads wandered off to wherever they were going,<br \/>\nand the man in black continued on to wherever he was going, which at that<br \/>\nmoment happened to be straight towards me.<\/p>\n<p>Surely I had rehearsed a moment like this in my mind a thousand times<br \/>\nbefore.<\/p>\n<p>But I could only keep smiling even more and, at 4:30 AM on New Years Day<br \/>\n1989, the only thing I could think of to say to Jerry Garcia, the only<br \/>\nother person around for a hundred feet, was:<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Happy New Year!&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Same to you!&#8221; he shot back, still holding that smile, and he walked on<br \/>\npast me to whatever car or party or loved one awaited him next.<\/p>\n<p>Suddenly unable to think of any pressing reason to stay inside the<br \/>\nbuilding, I went back out to the parking lot, to a portal of the stadium,<br \/>\nwhere a small barrel fire was keeping happy heads warm and huddled in the<br \/>\nearliest pre-dawn hours of the new year.<\/p>\n<p>It&#8217;s one of those classic cases where I&#8217;ve come up with a better response<br \/>\nnow that I&#8217;ve had a few years to think about it. \u00c2\u00a0If I had the chance, I<br \/>\nmight say, &#8220;Hey, Jer, listen: I really want to thank you not only for what<br \/>\nyou do, but for your determination to enjoy doing it. \u00c2\u00a0I&#8217;ve loved taking<br \/>\npart in it too, and it&#8217;s good to see that you enjoy making it happen as<br \/>\nmuch as we do. \u00c2\u00a0The fact that you found something you like doing, and made<br \/>\nit into a way of living, helps inspire me and a bunch of other people to<br \/>\nrealize that we can find something of our own that we like doing, and to<br \/>\nmake a life for ourselves out of it as well.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>I&#8217;ll never again have a chance to see him that close in person. \u00c2\u00a0So I<br \/>\ndon&#8217;t know how he&#8217;d respond, although even if it were 4:30 in the morning<br \/>\nI&#8217;m pretty sure he&#8217;d have more to say than &#8220;same to you!&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>Happy New Year, Jer. \u00c2\u00a0Miss ya.<\/p>\n<p>And Happy New Year to you, Uncle Bobo, wherever you are.<\/p>\n<p>Happy New Year, everybody.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Editors comment: This post is by my brother, Kelly. It is December 31st, 1988, and still I have no ticket for tonight&#8217;s New Year&#8217;s Eve Grateful Dead show, the final night of an abbreviated three-night run. Having figured that two shows are better than none, I hopped in the communal Ford van and (after a [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":5,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[3],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-507","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-kids-family"],"aioseo_notices":[],"aioseo_head":"\n\t\t<!-- All in One SEO 5.0.1 - aioseo.com -->\n\t<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Editors comment: This post is by my brother, Kelly. It is December 31st, 1988, and still I have no ticket for tonight&#039;s New Year&#039;s Eve Grateful Dead show, the final night of an abbreviated three-night run. 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